For Blue Skies
by xPhoebexColexlove
Summary: One Shot story. What if Dean and Bela were in love and after she died he found out the truth about her past? would this have changed the way he felt about her? Can be considered as a song/fic but is not really. Just read and find out.


For Blue Skies.

The day felt cold. Even though it was a nice day of spring, the flowers were falling over the green grass, white, purple and pink petals all around the place. It could have been the perfect day, the perfect beautiful morning of April, but not today. Today it felt cold, at least for one person. Dean Winchester was standing in that place looking down at the gray gravestone, with a name on it a name he couldn't bring himself to mention, at least not yet. He have planned to come to this place many times before but he never could, he never thought it would be easy to stand in that place that made him feel so empty and cold his body ache in place he didnt even know he could ache before. He looked down placing the flowers he was carrying on his hands. White flowers, he smiled at the irony of it all. But then he looked down again serious now. Trying to form in his head the words he wanted to say. The words her was working on his mind to say before coming but somehow now they were all gone from his mind. Just blank nothing. He took in a deep breath and let out a soft chuckle shaking his head.

"Who would have thought it huh? Me? Standing on this place after all this time of not being able to. Well i guess wherever you are you're gonna be laughing at the way I look, like a little kid trying to look for the right words in his mind at the moment and with nothing better to say because everything is gone from my mind. I guess I will go with the flow then huh? Ive been getting ready for this moment so many times and now that Ive finally grown a pair to come and speak to you I dont even know where to begin. I brought you flowers, I mean you cant complain. They are whites, i know something pure and innocent for a person who would had probably feel better with something red, but hey! At least i tried right?..."

He took a pause in that moment swallowing the lump that was starting to form at the back of his throat.

"by the way if you're wondering if the place have gotten any better ever since you left i gotta tell you, is getting worse, i mean bad food, people are getting more and more agressive each day I dont even know what is worst if human or demons? Sammy and I are really considering of changing our job and began a carreer as cops, can you imagine? The Winchesters working for the government? Now thats something to laugh about you will probably do once you hear this..."

He tried to laugh a little but he couldnt. He looked at the distance for a couple of minutes just being silent, the wind was blowing softly making the petals move from one place to another in the green grass. He finally looked down sitting next to the gravestone looking at the name on it.

"the truth is... I dont even know what to do anymore. I've tried, I really have but I can't....I mean I can't seem to forget you. The sarcastic comments, the way you would make fun of me or the many times you got on my nerves by being smarter. Your hair, your eyes, you beautiful smile with that devilish grin you so liked to use against me many times when you wanted to do things your way. So i guess after all Ive came here to ask you what do i do? How do i stop this feeling that burns me inside each time i think about you. I feel guilt, anger, confusion, lost... regret. I wish i could have you right in front of me right now and hold you, I wish i could go back in time kidnap some freaking creature that can make me travel in time I dont know all i want is to turn back to those last moments in your motel room when i went after you and i never gave you the chance to tell me the truth, explain to me the reasons why you did all those things. When i found out the truth i wanted to die Bela, i really did. I mean i died and cameback but i wish i hadn't. I wanted to stay there suffering for not being able to listen, for not understanding, for not looking for answers . Could have i saved you? I like to think i could have had a damn chance and right now i guess after all this time the only thing i can say is......."

He pauses in that moment feeling himself out of breath, chocking on his own tears that didnt seem to stop falling down his face. His body shaking and his vission blurry he finally took a look at her name written on the stone he lifted his hands caressing the cold letters as he finally managed to let the final words out, the ones he probably have been looking for in his mind ever since he found out the whole truth about the woman he loved and lost , and the one he knew now he would never forget. Not now not ever. Those words were...

"I forgive you....."


End file.
